Cute Facebook statuses is a great way to get a lot of attention on the social networking site without having to reveal personal information about you feelings or activities; something many people don’t feel comfortable with. They are also not hard to come up with. They can be funny comments about news events, sports, funny quotes, or just clever twists on things that happen in everyday life. They can even just be general jokes or humor that plays on Facebook statuses themselves. Here are some examples of some different funny Facebook statuses that you can use to brighten your social networking community’s day.

“How To Attract A GIRL On Facebook”

Cute Facebook Statuses

• I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
• “Username or Password incorrect.” TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU SON OF A BITCH
• One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
• My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment
• Never waste a moment, it may be the last with someone you love.
• Success lies not in the result but in the effort. “BEING” the Best is not at all important,”DOING” the Best is all that matters.
• Always appreciate the time you get, because you never know how much longer it`ll last.
• Be your self and not what others want you to be.
• You know why people say that you can’t Sleep when you are in Love, because for the 1st Time in your life you will find something more beautiful than your dreams.
• Hey you, looking at my status. Hi!٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
• Trust is a small word with a big concept.
• When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your wish for today? I said : Please take special care of the person reading this.
• Why do we always ignore those that adore us, adore those that ignore us. Love those that hurt us and hurt those that love us??
• Your smile looks adorable on you. You should wear it more often.
• If you want to leave a lasting impression then treat people the same way you would like to be treated.
• Love me for a second, and I will make that second last a lifetime.
• Do not think about the past. Accept the Present. Think for the Future, and face tomorrow with a sweet and beautiful smile.
• No one can change a person. But someone can be a reason for a person to change.
• Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love & be loved for the rest of your life.
• I want you to know something, but I don’t want to tell you, so I’ll just let the first three words of this sentence explain it.
• Those who Hate, find it hard to Love: Those who Love find it hard to Hate.
• The moment when you are sure you can’t lose what you own, is exactly the moment when you start losing it.
• Work hard to get what you like, otherwise you’ll be forced to like what you get.
• I need many things to help me live, but I need only you, to make life worth living.
• Love happens whether you want it to or not. Don’t try to control it.
• When I think of you, I don’t think of tomorrow.
• Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
• God could not be everywhere therefore he made mothers.
• Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
• When everything seems to be unfair, when all that you do is not appreciated, I’ll take your hand, wipe away your tears, take you for a walk and remind you how special you are. If not for them, for me.
• You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
• We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
• When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between you fingers, and remember that’s where my fingers fit perfectly.
• Relationships do not need promises, terms, and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people one who can trust and one who can understand.

Cute Love Facebook Status

• Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
• If you want to read about love and marriage you’ve got to buy two separate books.
• The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• Think of love as a card game: first, get rid of the jokers, throw away the hearts, keep the diamonds… then try to get a king
• There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart
• I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox
• The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty
• The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What… does a woman want?
• You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories
• We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
• You don’t always have to try so hard. A thankful heart is so much more attractive than a thirsty heart.
• When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between you fingers, and remember that’s where my fingers fit perfectly.
• Relationships do not need promises, terms, and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people one who can trust and one who can understand.
• An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.
• Never cry for the person who hurts you, Just smile & say THANKS for giving me a chance to find someone better than you.
• Ability is what you’re capable of doing, motivation determines what you do, and attitude determines how well you do it.
• Waiting for someone you love is never easy. Especially when the one you’re waiting for isn’t aware that you’re waiting…
• Accept that you have lost, but never accept that you have failed.
• Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired
• If I tell you, I love you, can I keep you forever
• Just refreshed her facebook page and there are still no wall messages
• The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.
• Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?
• Love is a fire: But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell
• A real man doesn’t love a million girls, he loves one girl in a million ways ♥
• Is missing home…_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡….sweet home…:(
• If you had a chance to be someone else for a day.. Type in who and why.

Cute School Facebook Status

• What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
• The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.
• don’t want to go back to prison, i mean school, i mean prison, i mean school, oh who am i kidding, school is prison and prison is school!
• math grow up and solve your own problems
• Teacher: I’m going to call your mother. Student: can you please tell their i forgot my lunch and that I my homework?
• What’s the difference between Jail and School? Prisoners get better food than school kids do.
• Love, (insert your name here)
• How is it when ur in kindergarten u don’t want to take a nap, but in all the schools above elementary u would kill for 1?
• If you are ready for school to be over press “like”
• Fridays should happen more often.
• Math use to be just 1+1=2 Now it’s (4x+2y)(5x-9y)
• Teacher: I’m sick of how this class treats subs! When you have a sub you treat them how you treat me…
• …wonders why homework use to be 1+1=2, and now its Y-2Y=4(X-7)Y=777-X-9-0987655>_< AGGGGGHH!!!my brain hurts!!!
• Life is like Math… Once you are done with one problem, there is another one under it
• Exams = Studying ~ Take the S T U away and you have Dying ~ Therefore ~ Studying = Preparing for death
• Kids:then where is my pay check?
• Has decided 2 start doing homework but not on days ending with a Y
• aah. school, the place with teachers, homework, and DRAMA!!!
• school wt today school i am late for school shit o wait its 8:00am thank God
• why is it that we can’t talk about God in school but we have to learn about every other religion???
• police man asked me where i was between 8 and 11 . I told them :
• I look at the clock every few minutes and wish for school to be over…
• Teacher: Tell me an example of a creature which can live on water as well as the land. Student: Frog. Teacher: Another example. Student: Another frog.

Funny Facebook Statuses

• If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
• Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
• Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you”d ordered that.
• If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
• Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
• Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
• FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block THE END
• The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.
• If you are reading this, congrats you know how to read..
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.
• I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
• The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
• I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic..
• I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience…
• I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT..
• My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.
• That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
• Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left…
• Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
• Do you know the difference between a lady and a woman? A lady does what she’s told and a woman does what she dam well pleases!
• Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
• I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs…
• Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters..
• I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”
• I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!
• Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?
• I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
• Thinks I feel great when I go to bed drunk. I wake up feeling crap. Obviously sleep is bad for you.
• Some relationships are like tom and Jerry, they irritate each other, they tease each other, but they still can’t live without each other..
• I am going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, i mean drinking beer and spraying everything with febreze.
• That awkward moment when you keep talking & you don`t realize your friend walked away.

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